Pre-marital courses

Many people put much effort into planning the perfect wedding. How many people put that much effort into planning their marriage? Do you want the best possible start, either for yourself or a couple you care about? Consider a Pre-marital Course.

I’ve been facilitating pre-marital courses (PMCs) since 1996. PMCs are my equivalent to preventative work – preventing divorce! I think of relationships as being like a garden. You can have the best seeds, the best soil, and lots of sunlight, but without water, the garden will wither and die. The water is akin to the energy or effort people must put into their relationship. Much of the preventative work I do is about helping people understand this concept. What energy or effort do you need to put into your relationship?

I really enjoy the classes because it provides for me a nice balance with the work I do with couples in crisis and because PMCs are also my opportunity to plant some seeds for the future that will hopefully decrease some of the distress that many couples face.

Although we cover many topics, in a PMC you will: learn a bit about yourself and your partner; look briefly at family of origin and how that might affect communication styles today; work on communication tools and conflict resolution tools; talk about intimacy and sexuality; discuss some parenting issues; and learn about some way of talking about finances that are aimed at decreasing stress in a relationship.

Although I am facilitating the class, I am not “a sage on the stage” type of facilitator. I’m more of a “guide on the side”. I tend to talk a bit about a topic, then I have couples ideas discuss together. Often, not always, we discuss topics as a group. And those who are quieter or shy need not fear. My courses are relaxed and easy going.

Pre-marital courses are appropriate for gay couples, couples who are already married, couples who are committed to one another but aren’t planning to be married, even couples who’ve been married before and are getting married again. I also offer PMCs to individual couples as well. Really, a PMC is helpful for anyone in long-term committed relationship